LARP Journal and Other Random Thoughts

Stuff you probably won't read anywhere else (be warned)

The Laws of Shattering, Part 3
Back in the forge, the cold forge, damn it all. Zara would have to spend forever heating it again and getting it to the exact temperature. She could have gone with the Tranquil. She probably should have, considering that she had asked to be adopted into the Vascoll. But she had come back here, to be alone. Safe. 

If the Jackal Man had Adad's soul "wriggling in his teeth" (she shuddered at the memory), then he had to be dead, or almost. It sounded like she would be there for at least some of it. She had promised, after all, and she had to keep this one. Her Lady Abyss had almost been...kind...when she allowed Zara to trade her oath. 

No.  According to everyone else giving their opinion every time she turned around, the Abyss wasn't kind. She wasn't anything. She was the taking of all, the consuming of all, but Zara would never see it that way. Perhaps that was who she was, but she hadn't taken anything from Zara. Zara had given. Gladly. In fact, she mused, her back against the gritty stone wall of the forge, her Lady Abyss was really the first, being...oh, whatever. The first Zara had ever given to freely. She hadn't even been Thorne's apprentice, back then. And the Abyss was the only one who truly knew. 

Or did she?  Was the memory of Zara, dripping with sweat and tears, telling her Lady that she wanted what she could never have, her childhood back...was that gone?

Whether it was or not, it looked like she was going to get her wish, in one form or another. 

A thought came over Zara, and her hands stiffened. Did that mean the Abyss...

...had created something?

Created something to consume, of course. After all, that was what she had offered (and failed to give). And what did it matter, anyway? Zara wasn't one to argue cosmology. She felt what she felt, and--

What would she do, once Adad was really gone?

It had to be this way. Zara knew she couldn't kill him. Just facing him again had rattled her to the point where she could barely speak for an entire day.  Revenge on Adad had been a strong thought to help her get out of the factory, but she had to let that go. To him, she was nothing, just a grubby girl covered in the glitter dust of his riches. 

So why then was he still something to her?

And for the first time Zara realized, truly realized, that he could be dead, gone, killed in a thousand different ways, and he would still be with her. The factory, the burns and cuts, and his voice, his cold smile, his whisper over her shoulder. Always. And steam burn that glass-shattering nonsense of leaving it all behind or growing beyond it or whatever. She wouldn't do that. 

As much as she loved Thorne, it annoyed the fire out of her every time she realized he was right. And now she finally understood what he meant by revenge being endless. Adad was good as dead, and she was exactly the same as before. 

Zara thought she had a memory of clasping his finger once, as he led her to some work. 

A tear slipped down her cheek and hissed into steam when it touched the dark flames on her skin. 

She never looked at the mirror. 

The Laws of Shattering, Part 2
The mirror sat in the corner of the forge.


It was almost as if she couldn't stand the thought of it being out there, in the world, something perfect that she had made. Perfection for her own sake, not because any factory boss was dripping sweat on the back of her neck. Zara knew she could do it. Why didn't she?

Because she--

Because Adad--

No, because SHE--

Zara narrowed her eyes and hissed a string of curses at that cracked mirror. In one wild moment, she thought that perhaps she ought to curse by Garioch's name now, since she had joined his church.

Because of Nuri--

Who was gone.

And Father Edward--

Also gone.  Were they making him work in the prison, she wondered idly.  Probably. Sympathetic pain ran up her spine for a moment.  

Well, he was responsible for his consequences, and she for hers. Oh, how she hated that word "consequences". She heard it in Thorne's voice now, every single time.  She thought about consequences a lot. It made her want to kick something. 

She hunched over the table, her cheek resting on her clasped hands. Nothing for it but to remake the mirror.  As she picked it up, there was a rush of air around her and a sound, almost like a bird's wing beating the air near her face. Startled, Zara stepped back, and the mirror flipped out of her hands, smashing against the stone floor of the forge. 

Something had changed. She felt...

Stronger. Calmer. Just a bit, but it was there. 

Absently, still focused on what she felt inside, she gestured at the shards of glass and they liquified, rising up in a silvery sphere and then spilling back into the mirror frame. 

What was that feeling...?

Zara tossed her things into her traveling bag, ready to head back to Fortune's Bend.

Had she lost...something else? 

In the forge, as the fire grew cold, the glass slowly settled back in the frame, smooth and flawless. 

LARPING: what not to do
Hello everyone! This will be a short educational piece on Things it's a Bad Idea To Do While Larping, Specifically in the Self Care Department.

Some of these things are okay on their own and only become an issue when they are combined with other things on the list (you can probably guess that I combined everything on this list)

1) stay up until 5 AM, even if you're having lots of fun, WHEN COMBINED WITH:
2) not getting any sleep between 5 and 9 AM, I mean not ANY. Not a bit.
3) deciding to not eat breakfast for no particular reason
4) But coffee is great! I never drink coffee! This is the perfect occasion to begin drinking lots of it!
5) you know what goes great with coffee? Rice Krispie Treats! Not protein!
6) things get a little hazy around this point
7) playing a monster is cool, but it's even more fun when you decide to run around like crazy chasing PCs even when it's not needed.
8) but don't consume any protein after that, for (insert Mythic here)'s sake. Are you trying to actually keep your body running?
9) decline hydrating drinks when people politely suggest that you need them
10) and so on.

Be better next time... :/

The Laws of Shattering
As she stepped into the forge, Zara felt the familiar flush and prickle of her skin beginning to sweat. She pulled on her gloves, whispered an incantation, and let her Fire go.

She was working on a mirror.

No room for error here. Any ripple, bubble, or crack would be noticed, would affect the whole picture. You would never be able to see your true image, it would always be influenced by that mistake. Your eye would always catch it. You would always wonder if it could be different. Always, always, always. A smile pulled at Zara's lips. She knew she had a weakness for symbolism.

One...two...three...four seconds passed as she slowly liquified the glass frit. She had to keep it right on the began to melt and flow, lazy like caramel, in a wonderful liminal state. Zara sent her energy out further, let it join with the glass and submerged herself, hot and relaxed and pliable, ready to become any one of a million things with just the right touch. This was the secret of glassmaking. You couldn't make glass do what you wanted it to do. You could, however, make glass do what IT wanted to do, with gentle pushes in the direction it was already going. Never pull. Never force.

She couldn't make this glass into a mirror. She had to wait until it wanted to become a mirror. It took a lot of patience, and Zara wasn't good at patience. Or trust. What if it didn't want to be a mirror? She needed a mirror, nothing else.

"In time..." the calm voice of Darkstorm brushed over her. Now, he would have been a consummate glassmaker. It irritated her to no end.

She cradled the liquid with her energy, crooned to it gently: "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Please understand, don't be angry, I don't mean to be harsh..." It heard her and turned a reddish gold hue that she loved, that she tried to echo in the colors she wore, in the shine of her skirts. It was such a luxury to wear pretty clothes, to wrap herself in glimmering fabric that swished and rustled and moved. Some indulgences Zara would never allow herself, but clothes were an expression of her essence, something that spoke for her when her voice couldn't.

Which was a lot.

Tendrils of fear began to snake around the edges of her mind as the critical point approached. The glass was trusting her, merging and flowing with her energy, like a flock of birds that turned in unison. They could do this.

She could have a mirror, if she wanted one. It would be flawless, clear and smooth, and she could stand in front of it and see her true self: dark flames, dark desires, and all. A murderer, a torturer, a soul that was twin to her beloved Lady Abyss and glad of it. Zara didn't want to be kind, to be understanding, to forgive. She wanted to scream, send out pain and rage and hurt...

...and come back at the end of it all, curl up and be comforted like a child. The child she had never been.

Thorne knew. He knew how to make glass. Zara just hadn't realized that she was the glass, and he was waiting. Never pulling, never forcing. Waiting for her to decide what she wanted.

All the pain was as fresh as the first day. The glass turned a shade darker in warning, and she quickly imagined that thought disintegrating and blowing away like sand. The glass purred in response and its color warmed to pink.

She could be pink, too.

What did she want?

The glass waited.

And then, reality arrived. On a fucking freight train.
Warning: this is serious stuff. If you're not in the mood for that (which is TOTALLY okay), skip down to the line. I can't seem to make the "behind the cut" thing work, sorry.

My younger sister was diagnosed with cancer in mid-May.

She's 35. She has a husband and two boys, 4 1/2 and 2.

It's COLON cancer. It has metastasized to her liver. The five year survival rate for this type of cancer is 6%.

In Nov. 2013, she had scans that showed no signs of anything. No pain, no weird bloodwork, no family history of colon cancer, nothing nothing nothing. In May 2014, they removed a tumor the size of the surgeon's HAND from her colon. The tumor broke through her colon, wrapped itself around her spleen, and CRUSHED part of her spleen. Because it felt like it, I guess.

I work with a lot of doctors. As I told them this story, they all stare, flummoxed. This just doesn't happen to a 35 year old female. Ask for a colonoscopy when you're under 50, and your doc will probably laugh. There's just no point, this doesn't ever happen. Except when it does. Nobody did anything wrong, nobody was negligent. It just happened really really fast, for no other reason than it did.

Insert your own expletives here.

She's my little sister. My instinct is to go find the asshole that dared to hurt my sister and kick the shit out of them. But I can't, because it's not a person.

This is the type of thing that's supposed to happen to someone else, another family, and you gasp and say "how tragic". Except I feel like a terrible asshole saying that now, because of course you don't want this to happen to someone else. Especially someone with kids. She's terrified that she'll die before they're old enough to really remember her. And it could very well happen. It could really happen.

But, she's here now, and in the first break we've really caught, she is feeling better and stronger and has been considering going back to work on a very limited basis. Chemo has not been as terrible (so far) as we'd thought. They shoot you up with a lot of steroids now during the chemo, to alleviate the nausea and other side effects that happen when they put poison in your body, and she came out of her first session "feeling like she could bench press a truck". Awesome. Anything that makes her feel better, I love. She's having her second dose as I write this. I'm just hoping the same thing happens this time.

My family is awesome and has been rallying like crazy. Aunts, uncles, cousins have been volunteering to come and help. Friends and acquaintances bring dinners, take the boys out for play dates, even came and planted flowers in the front yard. Those who pray are praying, those who don't pray are sending good thoughts. And it means a lot, it really means a lot. She has fantastic doctors, one of whom made a bona fide house call on a Saturday to check up on her. I have an incredibly understanding boss who has basically given me an open ticket to adjust my schedule so that I can help her and the family out as needed. In a crisis, people blow you away with their compassion.

And that's all there is to know right now. If you're still reading this, thank you. I needed to talk about it.

And I also need to talk about normal stuff, so in an awkward transition (because you find that there aren't any non-awkward transitions now. You can't talk about cancer all the time, you just can't. You feel weird NOT talking about it though, since everything else pales in comparison. But real life is a ruthless bitch sometimes, and you have to get tires for the car and deal with idiotic stuff at your job, and there are good things too) I'm going to write a bit about potentially playing Clockwork Skies.


So, I really want to play Clockwork Skies,'s steampunk and seems really fun and lots of cool people are playing, people that I mostly don't get to PC with, and I have a feeling some of the staff might want to beat me up in return for all I'm doing to their feels in Ascendant, and that just sounds awesome to me. Also, I need to shoot nerf guns at people. NEED.

The cons: It's far away. The last time I went to Madrigal, I ended up sleeping a good deal of the time, because I was just so tired. If I go to this, which is a longer drive, I want to be AWAKE and PLAYING the entire time.

I can't seem to think of any other cons right now. I'm sure there are some.

Anyhoo, I'm working on a character concept. I love PCing, love it love it, but I am not as confident as a PC than I am as an NPC. I think it's because as an NPC I'm in charge, and can adjust stuff as necessary. As a PC, I very often get caught up on What Is The Right Thing To Do Here, and then I freeze up. When I created Zara (for Numina), I had never boffer larped before, and I wanted to have the license to stand there and say "what the fuck is going on??". I created a character who was a slave and had never been in the real world, and Zara could do that. It's been an incredible, joyous experience, though I still freeze up a lot.

For Clockwork, I think I want to try being someone a bit more confident, outgoing, comfy with talking to people and saying what she thinks. I'm wondering if that's a good decision, since it's out of my comfort zone. But if I'm going to travel up there, I want to talk to people and get involved in stuff, goddammit, and maybe the best way is to lock myself into having to do just that. Also, if it works, it could be very very fun.

I like to write fairly open character histories, to invite staff to fill in the gaps and screw with my mind as much as possible. I like psychological, mindbreaker plot. (Anyone falling down in shock? I didn't think so.) :) So right now, this character is from Saliana and grew up working in one of the better saloons, so she's comfortable talking to all kinds of folks, but can also throw a drunk out on his or her ass, and protect the cash take as well. As far as Paths go, there will definitely be Gunslinger, but I'm wavering between Detective, Exemplar, and Physician.

Aaaand, that's about it so far. I know this is a packed game, I may not get in, and that's okay. But, if anyone has comments or ideas on what kind of character might click in this game, or stuff they think would be fun to see me try, I'm taking all advice and random thoughts. I'd love to hear yours. :)

Oh, so much scary-lovely Numina...
Whee. Sigh. Another fantastic event that left me alternately giddy, stunned, and frozen with fear. How can you guys outdo yourselves every single time??

My event highlight began in the early afternoon, when wolffit handed me 3 pages of text and informed me that 1) I had to read it before the event, and 2) he should probably drive the first shift because "I would need to process the information." He was right. It was one of the most beautifully written things I have ever read, and it filled me with complete horror as to what I would encounter once game began. Little touches of Zara were sprinkled throughout, tiny things I had left in PELs, or mentioned to an NPC, and I was (and still am) SO touched that staff has taken the time to know Zara so well. It was a beautiful gift.

I was nervous from that point on. I started to get REALLY nervous about 30 minutes before opening ceremonies. Heart was pounding. I was trying to braid a friend's hair, and my hands wouldn't stay still. I ended up telling her I would have to try again later. After opening ceremonies, browstein walks me over to where my game will begin, and says something like "this should give you MOTIVATIONS", which made me laugh like crazy while shooting my nerves up even higher.

Frantically sorting colored glass based on the rapid flashing of lights in the background, under the impervious stare of a guard who occasionally made snide remarks.

Facing off between a spirit I loved and a man I hated. Realizing that obeying the spirit I loved would take me on a path of destruction. Letting the man I hated walk unharmed would make me want to destroy myself. One seductive voice, one arrogant and distainful. I angered the spirit, and amused the man. The faces of friends flashed through my mind: Rykan, Nuri, Thorne. They would be so angry if I gave in, if I threw all of the fire within me at him and vaporized Lord Adad where he stood. I told the spirit I loved her. Begged her to feed on the anger and vengeance inside of me, since it would always be there. I would never stop wanting to kill Adad, to hurt him, but I was starting to want to be a better, stronger person than that. In the end, Zara did not attack him, but only because the Imperial officer standing there would arrest her again on the spot. Zara held back to save her own skin, and that decision torqued the rest of the event for her. If she isn't vengeance, born in the heat of a glass factory and willing to sacrifice herself, then who is she? Why, if she did the right thing, does she still feel horrible?

From an OOG standpoint, the staff (especially silverhare and wolffit were AMAZING for putting this scene together and allowing Zara such a fantastic/horrible experience. I am reallyreallyreally grateful and plan to give back all the love I can to them at Ascendant. No need to be nervous, guys. ;)

Other cool stuff:

A quiet, gentle talk with the priest of Garioch, letting her know that she would be welcome in the church and that there was a lot of good in her. And, that everybody makes mistakes. Zara really needed to hear all this. Thanks, browstein

Standing outside and watching the rain-soaked members of the 505 return as spirits, and enter Death's gate. Every one of them.

Going on a mission to the Underholme, and taking a moment before I stepped through the gate. Entering the Underholme could mean capture and slavery for Zara as well, so it took a moment to work up the courage to step through. I didn't think anyone saw this, but afterwards, an NPC came up and said to me: "if I have my way, you'll never be afraid to step through a gate to the Underholme again." It was completely unexpected and so sweet. Thanks, burkefireguy

Such a good game. Already counting down to the next one. September is too far away!!

Oh, I'm so happy it's spring! Also Numina.
I'm really, REALLY glad that the sun is shining and we can open the windows in our house and get the fresh air flowing. Our cats appreciate it too. However, they are showing a scary level of understanding on how to open the sliding glass door. We leave it cracked open (because otherwise they'll try to slide between the door and screen, or jump up and hang on to the screen with their claws). Kira spent a good 20 minutes the other afternoon carefully placing her back paws on our tv stand, calculating balance, and then leaning her front paws on the edge of the door. I don't know if she's got enough weight to actually make it slide, but that's NOT THE POINT.

Third Ascendant event. I feel like we're getting into a better rhythm as staff. When this past event ended I was completely exhausted and speaking in gibberish. It was great. When I first signed on to staff, I thought: "well, running the event won't be like playing--there will be fun stuff, but it will mostly feel like work." So happy I was wrong on that. It's not like playing, but it's a completely different kind of immersive fun that is just as wonderful as PCing. And, the Ascendant PCs are amazing. WOW. We are so lucky.

But first, Numina!! I am counting down the days and have that lovely butterfly feeling of "this will be so much much trouble am I actually IN? Whee, this will be great (for me) but wow, this could really suck (for Zara). As I packed up makeup and sundries for Ascendant, I took out my box of fire-colored makeup that I use for Zara, and felt a tiny pang of sadness that she wouldn't be coming along for that, but NOW I AM REPACKING ALL THE THINGS AND GETTING EXCITED MWA HA HA HA hooray!!

Yes, I am five. I'm waiting for the day they figure that out at my work.

New song on Zara's playlist: "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth.

Feb. 2012 Numina
Wow. A wonderfully painful and joyous event. I want to write about it, but I also don't want to deprive staff of PEL-ery goodness, so I'm going to write this as...third person? (I can't remember if it's supposed to be third-person omnipotent or something else. Good grief.) So, Numina staff, know that lots of sentences describing your brilliant awesomeness is coming your way SOON.

Warning: If you like to read GOOD writing, this might not be the place. :)

Originally, this was going to encompass the entire event, but there's just no way. So this entry covers Friday night to the wee hours of Saturday morning.

Read more...Collapse )

Zara rushed along with the town and the other members of the Tranquil into the battle, but it went wrong so quickly. She had stepped forward to pull an injured friend back to safety, and realized it was not a friend, but a dead Shade creature. Blows came down on her arms and back, and it was done. It was too dark for her friends to see her, Zara realized as her spirit began to pull away. She was just another silhouette in the black that was the Shade. Zara blinked softly, and found herself in Death's realm, surrounded by candles and facing the large book. Azari Roshin, she wrote in her childish scrawl--she had never really been taught to write well.

"Again?" The solemn voice behind her said.

Zara turned and nodded. "Yes."

"Come forward, then, and tell me what you've learned."

Zara took a step and passed through the filmy barrier between her and Death. "I've learned that hurting someone for things in the past is not the same as helping someone to find a future."

"Why not?" A hint of amusement colored Death's voice.

"'s endless...pouring away water that you'll never get back."

"Like an abyss?" Even more amusement.

The Abyss. Heat bloomed in Zara's face. The Abyss, Death's child, the one who would consume all and still be hungry. The Abyss had no friends, but Zara had friends, and the Abyss was one of them. On a humid night over a year ago, with battle raging all around them, the Abyss had appeared to Zara and asked her what she really wanted. Zara hesitated, and then the words spilled out, truth that had never been spoken until then.

"I want the death of the man who stole my childhood. I want him to feel pain, to suffer, to know what it's like to lose things that should shape who you are. And, even if I hurt him, if I see him dead at my feet, I will never get it back, never. It's gone. I want it back and it's impossible. I want him dead for that."

Something lit up in her eyes, and the Abyss nodded in understanding. "I shall see you again," she promised.

The memory faded and Zara looked at Death. "Yes. Like an Abyss."

"You serve my child still?"

"I made a deal with her. I will honor it somehow. I promised her that."

"You must be careful," Death warned her. "Two of my children have claims on you now."

"Two?" Zara was shocked.

"You haven't forgotten all of the lessons you've learned, have you?" Now Death was definitely amused.

"No..." she replied.

"Then return. You still have purpose here." The chill of winter air touched her as she realized she was outside of Death's gate once again. She was alone--the battle still raged.

Who was the second?

Zara walked slowly to the tavern, to wait and reassure her family that she was all right.


Later that night she was running, running behind the spirit of the Scarecrow, hoping that he would lead her to a vision that would save the life of her teacher. Thorne had been gone for months now, his last words to her coming out of a desperate astral message that told her they were chasing him, and that Zara and his other apprentices were to "be careful and safe." No words, no sign since then. Even the other ArchMages were concerned--they had been weathering attacks of their own. The Scarecrow was anything but direct--he took them up and down, a crazy zigzag pattern, his thoughts as wild as his running. Finally he sat down in exhaustion, and pointed ahead to glowing lights. Zara was gasping for air, worn out by the run, but managed to stagger forward and see--

Her teacher Thorne, chained to a table, his eyes closed, three people bending over him, one with a large hunchback.

"That's a bear alchemist," Professor Higginbotham said from behind her. Zara ignored his statement in favor of trying to hear what they were saying in the vision.

"...harvest...the power...soon..." the bear alchemist was saying.

"This is from today," Higginbotham said, and this time Zara turned to him in a whirl. "Today? You mean there's a chance we can find him?"

"A chance, yes," he said, gently pulling her away.

"Is he dead?"

"That I don't know, Zara. Come away. It's only a vision, there's nothing you can do for him right now."

As they walked back, Higginbotham reassured Zara that he thought he could find the components for a ritual, but the reassurances were interspersed with horrified comments about "a BEAR alchemist...a bear ALCHEMIST!! WHY, when there are so many types of magic, would you DRINK IT? There is so much more you could do...I HATE bears...this is the WORST!"


Zara went back and sat in her Sanctum, letting the energy in her refresh slowly. In the light of the candles, she opened the little chest that held her few possessions. The chest itself hadn't been a possession until a year ago when...Thorne...had taken her back to the glass factory and a another slave had handed it to her, asking her to take it, since "he wouldn't be around much longer."

Zara smiled quietly. They had rescued him after all, so tortured that he didn't remember his own name. He was in Pyredown now, with Ellimere. She said he was well, and that was all Zara could know.

Back to the box. A tiny bottle of crystal, and some wooden coins--gifts from the Brother's holiday. They hadn't turned to gold, but they were still precious. She removed Nuri's music box carefully. Nuri had given it to her last summer, to "remind her that there were beautiful things in the world."

Zara's other possession was around her neck, and rarely left there. A tiny silver prayer box on a chain, given to Zara by Alastair's sister--after she told Zara that Alastair had been killed. The box opened, and there was something inside, but Zara couldn't tell what it was, nor could any of the other Mages she asked. It was enough that it came from him.

She turned the crank on the music box, and let the notes lull her to sleep.

So, THIS is where we talk larp?
So, somebody let slip that there's peoples about that write their character/larp experiences on LJ. Since I first starting playing Numina two years ago (almost exactly), I've become a rabid larp addict, so I decided to plunge in and see what's going on.

For those that don't really know me, my name is Amy, I live in Germantown MD, I am a redhead, and I'm a professor at a medical school, but not a doctor or nurse. (It's a funny story how I got to that combo; ask me over drinks sometime.) I play Zara at Numina and staff Ascendant. Ascendant just had their second event and I'm in the post-event crash phase--was it really as good as it seemed or was everybody just being nice??

A place where I can write as a character, or not, seems...intriguing. Very. Can't predict or guarantee what will happen next, except that I know a lot of exceptionally nice and creative people post here, and I'm looking forward to seeing their entries, if they permit.

I feel like I should offer up something first, though, as an introduction.

My prince of a husband is the one who suggested I start larping as a way to get back some of the creativity in my life. I did a google search, and Numina came up, along with a couple of other games. After detailed scrutiny of Numina's website, I remember thinking: "these people look sane and organized." Very important stuff to combine with creativity if you actually want to get somewhere, in my opinion, so I was off. Found some costuming, submitted a vague character history, and drove down to I-had-no-clue-where in Virginia for my first game.

I was absolutely terrified. No joke. Thought I might start crying.

That feeling lasted until about 30 minutes into the first game, when I started thinking: "this is the goddamn coolest thing I have done in a long, LONG time."

I was hooked and haven't looked back since. My husband occasionally regrets the suggestion, though he admits it was a brilliant way to get my creativity going again. He just didn't realize at the time it would also involve disposable income, giving over a closet to my larp gear, and becoming versed in materials needed for making packets. (The corsets, he's okay with :) ) He says he isn't a larper, but I'm working on him. One way or another I'll get him there.

Zara (my Numina character) has taken me on a journey that I never, NEVER expected. I like the idea of being pulled places by a game, so I deliberately wrote her backstory as vague. Realizing how much of myself is coming out through her is both exciting and scary. Sometimes I feel like she's my dolly, getting a new spiffy outfit or accessory, and sometimes I wonder why I bothered to name her something other than Amy, because who are we fooling here?

It's so much fun. :)


Log in

No account? Create an account